The QWER(TY) Response

Has anyone ever asked you the question, "On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate (fill in the blank)?" I'm guessing the answer is yes. This question annoys me. Why? Let me provide an example. I was talking about Avatar with a group of friends, and someone asked me that exact question. I said 5. We then argued for about ten minutes until we all agreed that my actual opinion was more in the range of 4. That sucks. I shouldn't have to debate for ten minutes over a point on a one to ten scale, only to be told that my first opinion was not actually my real opinion. The fact that I was wrong about my own opinion is irrelevant. The relevant issue is that the scale is flawed. If each point of difference requires an argument, then the scale sucks. So here's a better one. It's binary. Which is awesome.

The scale is based on four different rankings, each one having a binary response. The categories are Quality, Watchability, Enjoyability, and Recommendation. When someone asks you to rank a movie, you only need to provide a 1 or 0 for those four categories, with one being yes, and 0 being no. I'll use Avatar as an example. Say someone asks me to rate it for them. I would say 1,0,0,1/0 thank you. (That's the TY in QWERTY.) Here's why: Is it a high quality film? Objectively, yes. The directorial technique is very good, the visuals are awesome, and it represents a landmark in technological filmmaking. Is it watchable? Not to me. I would not watch it from the beginning, or the middle from that matter, without wanting to leave at some point. Is it enjoyable? No, not to me. I did not have a good time watching this movie. While I certainly appreciated what I was seeing, I did not have a good time. I just didn't like it. If you need to know why, see my previous post. Would I recommend it? Well, that one depends on who's asking, and what mood they're in. Make a judgement call. This one will usually be 1/0.

Why is this a better scale? Let's think about what the one to ten scale is really asking. It's asking you to put the movie in a percentile, based on every other movie you've seen. But the person asking has no idea what you're comparing it to. They don't know what other movies you've seen in your life, and so they have no frame of reference. They're just hearing a random number. And if you're one of the people that never rates something below five unless they really despise it, then you're ruining the scale before you even give out a number.

Here's another example. Say someone asks me to rate Requiem For A Dream. On a one to ten scale, I would say seven. That means roughly thirty percent of the movies I have seen are better than it, and seventy percent are worse. Say I used the QWERTY scale. 1,0,1,1 thank you. This tells the person the that it is a good movie, it's hard to watch, but I still enjoyed it, and that I recommend it.

By the way, you may be asking yourself, "Why do I include the TY at the end of QWERTY?" Because I love talking about movies. If someone asks for my opinion on a movie, I thank them. It's common courtesy.

Now bear in mind that the QWERTY system does not work in a vacuum. It certainly does not tell a person all you think of a movie, and neither does the one to ten scale. If someone asks about a movie, engage them in conversation. Tell them what you really think. Don't think that four ones or zeros will tell a person everything they want to know about a movie. They asked, let them know your full opinion.

That's all for now, I guess. Here's a few more random QWERTY reviews just to give you an idea of how it works.

Snatch: 1,1,1,1, thank you.

The Machinist: 1,0,1,1 , thank you.

Star Wars Episode 1: 0,1,0,0, thank you.

Death Race: 0,1,1,1/0, thank you.

One of those movies will be the next one reviewed.

-Harry